Trade Secrets

"I found out I was psychic when I was a kid. My father was a traveling salesman and I'd tell my mother, 'Dad's coming home today.' She would say, 'No, he's coming next week.' But I was always right. When I was 13,I used my baby-sitting money and went to a psychic. She told me I would be a teacher, live on an island and have two kids. Everything she told me has come true.

"I used to work in a restaurant as a palm reader. I read a man's palm and told him that I was going to marry him. He said he should take me out to dinner first. Two years later, we were married.

"Good psychics give you an update on where you are. I help with people's decisions, because I see the gifts they have hidden under their fear. Twice in 27 years I've had people I just couldn't read. I touched their hands, and I got violently sick. My higher guides didn't want me to go there.

"l was called for jury duty and the lawyer asked what I did for a living. He said, 'Ha! If you're psychic, can you tell us how this case will end?' l said, 'l don't get involved unless I'm paid. It's a profession, not a mental illness' I was excused from the jury. As I walked out, I yelled, 'By the way, your client is guilty!' They had to pick a new jury.

"Men ask about career, sales forecasts, the stock market and health. Relationships are the last thing they ask about, but they always get around to it. Women want to know about career, children and when they will solve their issues with food.

"When I do phone readings, for some reason, I visualize men's shoes and women's underwear. I once read this powerful person over the phone. The next day he sent me $1,000 via express delivery, which was seven times my fee. He sent his plane to bring me to his office and put me on retainer. After three months, it wasn't worth the financial perks to be at his beck and call.

"Last summer I saw Bill Clinton coming out of a coffee shop. I shook his hand and said, 'Don't worry, you'll still be president.' He probably thought I was nuts, but he's still president."

Louise Lague
Self September 1999